THE RANDY ROMANCE NOVELIST by Meghan Quinn
Scheduled to release: April 12, 2016
Cover designer: Meghan Quinn
It finally happened, I lost my virginity. Cue applause and cheers.
For a while life was all rainbows and kittens prancing in a sky full of cotton candy clouds…that was until the demands of the real world set in.
My best friend is getting married and she asked me to be her maid of honor. She’s not worried about flowers, or the dress, or the food at the venue. No, she’s worried about the bachelorette party, what kind of penis crown she will wear, and the nipple size of the stripper who will be attending.
I’m in way over my head trying to balance life with a boyfriend, planning a penis party, and writing my romance novel. Something is bound to give.
This is my life after my happily ever after…
*** Warning: The Randy Romance Novelist is over the top, ridiculous, and is meant to make you burst out in laughter. Question the sanity of this author, and welcome over-dramatized comedy into your life. Please proceed if you would like to read about absurd tomfoolery type events, be exposed to the book world and other authors, as well as see that even in the midst of a comical combustion of nonsensical craziness (and naïve characters) love will always prevail. ***
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
**If you haven't read The Virgin Romance Novelist, now is the time to stop reading.**
Well, Rosie and the gang are back. She has found her happily ever after with her best friend Henry and things are awesome. But at the same time, things are not that great. Rosie is in charge of Delaney's bachelorette party and has no idea what she is doing, Henry is working extremely long hours in the hopes that he can win a promotion (one that Rosie knows nothing about), Sir-Licks-A-Lot is now driving both Rosie and Henry crazy, and something is not quite right with Rosie.
But Rosie is still Rosie. She is still getting into crazy situations that make you either laugh or cringe. Or maybe even both. I know there were times when the second hand embarrassment was just too much. That poor girl gets herself into situations that no one should ever be in. She is also still working on her romance novel and has found an ally in another writer. She helps Rosie with her writing and gives her the confidence she needs to get started in the book world. I liked this part of the book...I was wondering how that aspect of her life was going to work out and it was nice that she had someone to guide her through it.
No let's talk about Henry for a second. That man should be nominated for sainthood. Going in, I already loved him, but what he dealt with in this story propelled him into the book boyfriend hall of fame. (That should totally exist.) Seriously, that man has the patience of a saint. But what he and Rosie have is true love and that can conquer anything.
Out of breath, I rested my forehead on her shoulder and her hand went instinctively to my hair, where she played with the short strands on the back of my neck.
“I love you,” I whispered. “So damn much.”
“I love you, too.” She sighed and said, “Is it still weird for you to think that we are a couple?”
She asked that question often; I wasn’t sure why because to me, being with Rosie was the most natural and honest relationship I’d ever experienced.
I lifted my head from her shoulder and pressed it against her forehead. My lips quickly pecked hers and I said, “Rosie, I’ve never felt more comfortable or in love with another human being than I do with you. Our relationship isn’t weird to me; it’s natural, logical, and essential to my well-being.”
“How did I get so lucky?” she asked, shifting to the side to look at the clock. I was about to answer her when she screamed right in my ear.
Bringing my hand to my broken eardrum to prevent any further damage, I asked, “What the hell, love?”
Without saying a word, she pointed to my side of the bed. I turned to find Sir Licks-a-Lot, leg extended in the air, toes spread, and his tongue very slowly and methodically licking his little kitty balls.
I turned back to Rosie, so beyond disturbed with the sight to the side of us. “Was he there the whole time?”
“I don’t think we want to know the answer to that question.”
We both looked at him again, watching him continue to swat himself with his mini sandpaper tongue.
I shivered and said, “Why is he purring? Does he ever purr?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” Rosie paused for a second before saying, “Why does he always stare at you? I think he might have a crush on you. Maybe you give off some kind of kitty pheromone.”
“I have been known to attract the pussies.”Ha! That damn cat. There are so many laughs in this book thanks to Sir-Licks-A-Lot. He may be a devil cat, but he provides lots of entertainment.
If you have read and enjoyed The Virgin Romance Novelist, you will want to pick this one up. And if for some reason you haven't read it and are still reading this review, scroll down, one click it, read it, then do the same for this book. You won't be disappointed.
Signed Print copy and $15 Amazon Gift Card
Purchase THE VIRGIN ROMANCE NOVELIST HERE!
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about meat sword? That’s what it is…a meat sword, right, all meaty and sword like, slaying through the inner dungeons of a woman’s dark desires. What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
God, I have no idea what happens when private parts touch.
I’m a virgin trying to write a romance novel and can’t seem to write past a sex scene thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen for a while and gain some real life practice through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups.
But losing my virginity is proving to be tougher than expected…
Born in New York and raised in Southern California, Meghan has grown into a sassy, peanut butter eating, blonde haired swearing, animal hoarding lady. She is known to bust out and dance if "It's Raining Men" starts beating through the air and heaven forbid you get a margarita in her, protect your legs because they may be humped.
Once she started commuting for an hour and twenty minutes every day to work for three years, she began to have conversations play in her head, real life, deep male voices and dainty lady coos kind of conversations. Perturbed and confused, she decided to either see a therapist about the hot and steamy voices running through her head or start writing them down. She decided to go with the cheaper option and started writing... enter her first novel, Caught Looking.
Now you can find the spicy, most definitely on the border of lunacy, kind of crazy lady residing in Colorado with the love of her life and her five, furry four legged children, hiking a trail or hiding behind shelves at grocery stores, wondering what kind of lube the nervous stranger will bring home to his wife. Oh and she loves a good boob squeeze!
Like me on Facebook
Find me on Goodreads
Visit my website